The Puck Stops Here

Game 1: Rangers/Lightning - Prague

2008-10-05T09:22:00.001-07:00

Rangers win 2-1. Ok, maybe I was wrong about not putting Drury on the wing. That Gomez/Drury/Naslund line looked scary good. Naslund looked about 7 years younger, and Gomez was doing Gomez things all game. Naslund at one point in the third had a move where heput everyone's jock on Mars before he clanked it off the pipe.Hank played solid, but the story of the game was Mike Smith, goalie for the Lightning. Is he a member of the FBI Witness protection program? Mike Smith, c'mon, I don't buy this name. Regardless of that, he's actually a very very solid goalie, made some brilliant moves. Good win by the Rangers, taking a 2-1 lead in their season opener.

The Cup is Ours!

2008-10-02T07:02:00.001-07:00

No, not Lord Stanley's-The Victoria Cup.

That'll teach those commie sons of bitches to fuck with the Rangers.

Fuck Yeah - Rangers!

2008-10-01T14:17:00.000-07:00

Rangers smoke SC Bern Bears like Travis Henry ~~smokes pot~~, ~~bangs 15 year olds in Buffalo bathrooms~~ , sells cocaine.

I'm just happy we finally won something. Tomorrow we'll battle Metallurg Magnitogorsk, the European chamption, for the Victoria cup, which i thought was the Queen Mothers Bra size but is apparently a scheduled playoff between European and NHL teams. Winning the Victoria Cup is like climaxing from a vague, borderline drunk/consensual sexual escapade, complete with an absurdly small settlement

But hey, its hockey right

Preseason finished

2008-09-29T08:51:00.001-07:00

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly concerned about the apathetic nature of the Rangers pre-season. Heath Ledger has shown more life than the Rangers offense, and the Peter Nedved experiment has come to a merciful end. As I wrote about in my Melt Your Face Off Rangers preview , the wings haven't quite meshed with the centermen yet.

So what's a Renney to do - ah, I see, move our best faceoff man to wing. Drury could protect two fast players on his wing, moves the puck well, and throws his body around in front of the net. Based on all of the above, I'm not sure that's necessarily the best move, but hey, what do I know, I just play NHL '94 in my mom's basement.

It's not me, its Roenick

Colton Orr

2008-09-26T09:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess he's in season form

Orr beats the hell out of Koci , courtesy of Puck Daddy.

Well, It Makes Sense He Would Like a Flop

2008-09-23T08:22:00.001-07:00

"So the people of Toronto are unhappy with me now, wait until they get a load of this,"

Mats Sundin joins team PokerStars

Not only did I screw them out of money by not allowing them to trade me and rebuild, crippling our team for years to come, but now I can lay the world class beats that PokerStars is known and loved for by its players!

Oh Captain, My Captain

2008-09-23T06:33:00.000-07:00

O Captain my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The team has weather’d every storm, the prize we seek not won; The season is near, the Czech I see, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel,no leader yet grim and daring:

But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of blue,
Where in the rafter my Captain lies,
His jersey cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up from Buffalo;
Rise up—for you the C is sown—for you the Goal song trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the Gardens a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying blue seats, their eager voices chanting;

New Captain! dear import!
The way you keep your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,

Our leadership fallen cold and dead.

My Captain is not named, no lips or voice to trill;
Our team for now has no pulse, but soon I hope it will;
Our aircraft fueled safe and sound, its voyage for pleasure and fun;
Across the Ocean, the team will land, comes in with no object won;

Exult, Garden crown, and ring, Goal Song!
But I, with mournful tread,
Wait patiently for my Captain named,

Mr. Drury please, I pled.

Highest of High Comedy

2008-09-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

The Atlanta Thrashers are in serious conversations with Marek Malik.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

*ahem*

I mean, I guess if slow, big defencemen that don't play good defence or use their body are in vogue, go for it.

From Hossa to Malik. Tough year.

Neither East nor West

2008-09-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

Rangers-

Hey guys, just throwing it out there. We do want to make sure we have, you know, some wingers right?

Kthxbye

Czech It Out.

2008-09-04T19:12:00.001-07:00

Open Letter to the NHL:

Dear ~~Mr. Bettman~~ Commisioner Cuntwag

Let's lay all our bets on the table shall we. That means you too Mr. Donaghy. (and don't think I'm not onto you Kerri Fraser).

I'm a 25 year old scraping by on dick money in New York. As a Mets fan and a Jets fan, I don't have much to look forward too. So when I blow a good chunck of my salary on half a years worth of Ranger tickets, and the guy I'm splitting them with gets Graves night, I would like to attend the season opener. However, this year I can't because you're doing it in fucking Prague.

As a fan, I spent time researching a trip to Prague, forgetting that because of priorly stated employment I can't leave the country for four days without losing more of my piddling salary. I understand about trying to expand the NHL's popularity, but this isn't fucking Mystery, Alaska. Russel Crowe isn't going to come and bring hockey to Cinemax 27 because you dragged one of the league's premier franchises to Guam for a regular season game. Even in that movie, the game was an EXHIBITION. Jesus Christ Gary, use some common sense. I see the bitch in you, and its ruining the great sport of hockey.

Sincerely,

FD

Stupid Trade Rumours One Oh One:

2008-08-29T07:38:00.000-07:00

An Open Letter to Hockey Bloggers:

If you are going to make a trade rumour up, please allow it to be reasonable. It's fairly self-evident that the Rangers aren't going to be getting rid of Scott Gomez, who came through as one of their best playoff performers in the past year. They invested 51 million dollars in him last season, and it's fairly unlikely they would trade that for one, maybe two years, of Mats Sundin.

I enjoy reading about trade rumours as much as the next hockey fan. Hell, its probably the most active trade market in the four major sports. With that being said, I can't stand reading stupid, hit generating desperate for attention posts.

Follow some simple rules people, if it seems too asinine to be true, it probably is. Think before you post, and all should be fine.

Sincerely,
FD

Shanny

2008-08-26T14:17:00.000-07:00

Can you picture Brendan Shanahan waking up at exactly 6 am, wearing a Detroit Red-Wings Old Tyme Hockey shirt, ripped up from his Cup days in HockeyTown., boxer briefs, and a a pair of socks walking out of his house to pick up his paper? I can, surprisingly easily. I picture him with a steaming cup of coffee, strutting outside with birds chirping, a 2007 Pathfinder with a Ranger License Plate Frame. He picks up the paper, saying aloud, "I don't need pants, I'm Brendan Shanahan." He goes upstairs, kisses his wife, and picks up his skates.

I like to live in a world where these kind of things happen.